I'm Back!!

Well, it's been a little over a year, I think, since my last post. I have been keeping myself very, very busy to avoid, or should I say attempt to avoid, horrible relapse insanity/destruction. I enrolled in massage school last April and attend 4 nights a week about an hour from my home. I still work in the same place, too. I am thoroughly enjoying my schooling and have about 3 months to go until I'm ready to take the national exam to become a certified massage therapist.

This past August, I got married to my boyfriend of 10 years after he proposed to me on Christmas of 2007. Our wedding date was 8/8/08. It was our 10th anniversary. I also received my Bachelor's degree in Metaphysical Sciences and I'm currently working on my Masters. I have plans to become an aromatherapist after I'm done with massage school and I also want to eventually be a Metaphysician.

Now that I've given you a little update...

After beginning to drink again, it wasn't long before I was doing other things, too. I think it took me 2 weeks before I had done some form of an opiate. Then, to replace opiate use, cocaine. I know this road all too well. I have debated whether to completely abandon this blog because, honestly, I'm not sure if this is a good thing on some levels. I know that denial is a hallmark for addiction but, is it possible to hyper focus on an issue? So much so that you stress yourself out and make it worse?

Even though I am still battling my addiciton issues, I feel like a lot of what I learned in my experience of going to AA meetings and using other self improvement tools, during my almost 3 years of sobriety, has stuck with me REGUARDLESS of being 100% sober or not. I say that being fully aware of the reality of it and the likely outcome that is assumed by most people out there in the "recovery" world. I am not stupid. When I decided to get sober in the first place, I was at the point of desperation required to have a spiritual awakening described in the Big Book. I most definitely HAD that experience and breaking my sobriety hasn't taken that away like so many people act like it would. I can still 'hear' God. I always did!! I just didn't want to listen before.

I will do my best to pick this blog back up but, it is going to have to encompass more of my life as a whole. With that said, I'll talk to you soon.